On trust

I believe that after the incident and after we had talked and everything was “fine”, I started down a negative spiral which started off with distrust at being so heavily betrayed. Let me tell you, distrust never ends up getting better. I thought it would be a temporary thing… I could laugh in my face right now. It began as a slight distrust, and I tried to fix it by placing a little restriction on him hoping that would satisfy me to know what goes on in his life every second of everyday. No. It just led to greater and greater distrust which led to greater restriction until it started affecting so many things that I just broke down earlier today and decided enough. It’s weird with how much clarity I have acted today, especially considering I’m about to start oozing blood from my lady parts. So, moral of the story: where I should have responded with greater trust when it was the utmost need to survive indestructively, I responded with less. In the future, and this kind of outlines my political views as well, I hope I will choose the more trusting way of action.

Recently I watched a great TedTalk on cheating in school, but really I got something else out of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubGOBvTPRjw

I got that we live happily by acting morally, and for me, being trusting and trusted is highly important. When I stray from that moral code, things start to go awry. I’ve learned that the hard way.